Eye candy

Had dinner today with a colleague who is leavin the team soon. They dinner was great and the atmosphere was fun as well. The feelings are just as nostalgic as it was month ago. When my colleagues agencies friends celebrated lunch tgt w me. Guys always seems so strong, they'd never tear. I tried not to cry when I left my team then too. I kinda missed what I was doing but I know at some point of the time we need to move on and learn more.

Oh wells. Tittle named 'eye candy'. Yes, my eye candy was there but through this dinner it just shows that my eye candy is not interested in me. One side, unrequsite love again. I was delighted when he asked if I'm gg over to the restaurant with anyone, if not I could take join the rest and hitch a ride to go. I rejected cus my colleagues alr have arranged for me. Kinda sweet of him to ask but i guess it all out of politeness and cus just nice I was walking pass ec and friends.

The dinner was probably the wake up call. We sat at different tables. However, diagonally I could still see him from like opposite each other. I laughed uglily and laughed noisily much like a big turn off or him. He only walked over to our table because he needed to talk to my another colleague about wad can we order and where's the toilet all. Haha of cus to occasionally talk to boy who was leaving. At first I might have thought of wad zj had said. Guys will try to find ways to get close to you if they like you. True to an extend but I don't think he's into me, when I left for toilet and when I came back he was again at our table but when came back he left the table shortly. Probably avoiding me. Sheesh I felt so disgusted about myself and upset at the same time.

Its me and my wishful thinking again :( feel kinda embarrass though. Why can't he like me? Am I so undesirable to him? Feel upset but I can't cry it out. I don't like the feeling of hurt and I dont like hurting myself. I needa get over really soon.

Thinks he already have a girl in mind. When they show the slide show, when his pic with another girl came up there was a cat call. They might have some liking i guess :( guess guys don't really like girls like me. Oh another clue will be, after our dinner when we left, he didn't offer to drive us back and instead my friend and I saw him, we just smiled and wave bye. His eye contact on my was less the 3s, that didn't last for the hopeful 8s that I was waiting for :(

I'm like a fool again. I'm giving myself this week as the last week to do stunts on him. After which I want to push myself to move on.

I want to be happy again.